MONDAY FAN FICTION REPORT - 9/7/98
[Previous report was for 9/6/98]

Hi all,

There's yet another new Xena fanfic site now available - Kaye Hanley's THE CHURCH OF XENA featuring a huge fanfic story by that name. It's at: http://freespace.virgin.net/kaye.hanley/pagek1.htm

For those of you who are fellow subtexters and have been suffering from a bad case of XWS I thought I'd include a very special section tonight to help you pass the time - a collection of past reviews for some of the best written, most romantic, sexiest romps in alt. fanfic. Considering that many of us will be going back to work tomorrow and most of these carry a DO NOT READ AT WORK warning (or should >:) I thought some of you brave Xenites would appreciate...a challenge. What can I say - I got inspired ;-) The list is below under GOLDEN OLDIES. With a couple of exceptions most are very short - perfect for those breaks and lunch hours. No, this is not a complete list of ALL my favorites BY FAR - just a listing of some of the ones that have passed the test of time as it were. Do make sure to also check out the new FANFIC ART at the end. This is an all alt. report.

ALTERNATIVE FICTION:

MANTLES ARE HEAVY by LZClotho
The conclusion of this story is now available. Clotho's latest takes Xena and the bard back to Amazonia where Gabrielle finds herself under pressure to choose between the royal mask and the warrior who owns her heart. All the while enemies, both new and old, are closing in. Nicely written with strong, believable characterizations and a well-crafted plot, this is another MUST READ from this talented bard. DO NOT MISS!! -- 9 pgs.
http://members.aol.com/lzclotho/altfic/mantles1.htm

GOLDEN OLDIES:

ALL TIED UP WITH NO WHERE TO...GO? by Pink Rabbit Productions
One of my favorite XWP alt. stories available at last! - FUNNY and just thoroughly WICKED, this little tale is GUARANTEED to put a big old grin on your face. It begins with a rather anxious Warrior Princess waiting for Gabrielle at an inn. When it starts getting late and there's still no sign of her companion, Xena sets out in search for her, never suspecting the predicament her little bard has gotten herself in. Enchanting and sensual this story is best avoided at work ;-) It receives my HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION! - 11 pgs., 11/4/97
https://www.altfic.com//subtextfic/Xena/prp/Alltiedup.html

AND I THINK OF HER by Zea
This is possibly the most SENSUAL piece of fan fiction I have ever read. Depicting a moment of passion and deep emotion, this vignette is so beautifully written that it reads almost like a poem. It calls to mind the deepest longings of the human soul to love and be loved. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 4 pgs., 9/29/97
https://ausxip.com/fanfic/think.html

BEST LAID PLANS (THE) by Whosays
VERY, VERY funny little alt. tale that has Xena's jealous streak spoiling some "plans" she and Gabby have made. Hold on to that funny bone!! - 4 pgs., 4/11/97
http://xwp-altfic.simplenet.com/whosays2.txt

BINDS THAT TIE (THE) by Bat Morda
Coming from the keyboard of Bat Morda it should be no surprise that this is one of the BEST Warlord/Slave stories written to date in XWP fan fiction and an absolute MUST READ! To help a monarch who once offered her army shelter, Xena agrees to try to intimidate a neighboring kingdom into abandoning any expansionist plans they may have. In order to do so, however, she must first convince the king there that she is still the feared warlord of old - an image which really doesn't allow for a bard as a companion. For Xena the solution seems simple - to go alone. For Gabrielle another solution is MUCH more rational - to go along as Xena's slave. Guess who wins ;-) Exceptionally well-written and edited, this is a romance that explores the attraction to things dark and dangerous. Words that come to mind - hot, sizzling, burning! DO NOT READ AT WORK (unless your co-workers are used to seeing you flushed and wearing a silly grin). Bat offers a few more warnings herself at the beginning of her story - make SURE to read those. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! [See also the sequel THE BINDS THAT TIE II: THE TACKY SEQUEL] - 37 pgs., 8/21/97
http://www.obsession14.com/XenaRotica/BatMorda/binds.htm
https://ausxip.com/fanfic/thebinds.html

BLIND FAITH RESTORED by Zzelami
A *WONDERFUL* story by a very talented new addition to the ranks of XWP bards. This story takes a few liberties with the episode BLIND FAITH offering a somewhat different ending guaranteed to leave you with a HUGE grin on your face! Starting at the point in the episode just after Xena saves the bard from a fiery death, the story then follows the two as they try to deal with Xena's blindness and are spurred into some emotional confessions as a result. They soon find themselves giving in to feelings too long denied only circumstances create some unexpected... challenges ;-) This tale is a delightful mixture of romance and humor that is going to warm the old ticker even as it leaves your funny bone hurting! An absolute MUST READ! VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! - 17 pgs., 8/22/97
https://ausxip.com/fanfic/blindfaith.html

BOTH HANDS by L.N. James
Set in Athens during the Dyonisian Festival, this story has Xena becoming amused when Gabrielle reacts with some shock to the wild going-ons. Determined to make the experience unforgettable for the young bard, Xena decides to get a little "wild" herself. A cautionary note here - DO NOT read at work! >:) VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! - 16 pgs., 3/97
http://www.squonk.net/users/lnjames/lnjames4.txt
https://ausxip.com/fanfic/bothhands.html

BREAKING BREAD by L.N. James
Cute, alt. piece which has Gabby being a little naughty and then getting more than she bargained for. DO NOT READ AT WORK! >:) HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 9 pgs., 2/97
http://www.squonk.net/users/lnjames/lnjames1.txt
http://xwp-altfic.simplenet.com/lnjames1.txt

CARDS ANYONE? by B L Miller
In the grand tradition of B.L.'s THE SHOW and L.N. James' BREAKING BREAD, comes this new sizzling little offering by a bard with an uncanny talent for combining romance and passion into a well-written and delightfully naughty package ;-) A word of warning - call the Amazon Ice Co. before reading this one. The warrior and bard play strip poker. Need I say more? >:) VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! - 7 pgs., 8/24/97
http://members.aol.com/IQ139/Cards/Page1.html
https://ausxip.com/fanfic/cards.html

CLOAK (THE) by B L Miller
She's baaaaack! Yeap - B L Miller returns in top form with her own very special tribute to the month of July >:) Those of you who have the Creation XWP calendar for 1998
will understand when you read this new tale from one of our most mischievous bards. Set around a campfire on a cool evening destined to...heat up, B.L.'s latest has the warrior getting decidedly uncomfortable as she observes the rather intriguing way a certain bard wears her cloak. Alas, that warrior's discomfort is soon growing by leaps and bounds when said bard decides to...play >:) Combining a deep sense of love and tenderness with raw passion, this tale is pure B.L. - and that's a VERRRY good thing. Go ahead and READ IT at work! Live dangerously!! ;-) VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 9 pgs., 7/14/98
http://members.aol.com/bardicfic/cloak.html

EATING OUT by DJWP
I have to admit that I'm not entirely sure this story should be listed under ALTERNATIVE FICTION :-| It seemed innocent enough. After all - Xena and Gabrielle are simply enjoying a good...meal. Still - something about it just left me a bit suspicious - might have to do with the fact that I read it during lunch time at work and ended up sporting a healthy flush for the rest of the day. Chicken had never quite given me that type of reaction before. Hmmmmm...well, I'll let you all decide. Just be aware that this tale can be dangerous at work - particularly if you like...chicken. It is either a story about one VERY nice meal...or a masterpiece of subtext. One thing you can all be certain about though - it comes VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! :) - 8 pgs., 11/6/97
https://ausxip.com/fanfic/eatingout.html

HINTS by L.N. James
This is a VERY funny offering which has a frustrated bard trying time and time again to distract her warrior from some extremely dull proceedings. Xena can be rather dense when it comes to non-battle "emergencies" but let it never be said that a bard "in need" gives up easily! ;-) This is guaranteed to put a big grin on your face! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! - 7 pgs., 7/21/97
http://www.squonk.net/users/lnjames/lnjames7.txt
https://ausxip.com/fanfic/lnjames7.html

LESSONS LEARNED: OR TEACH ME SOME MORE by Pink Rabbit Productions
This story is a study in...teasing >:) It has Xena and the bard sparring with staffs...and then sparring with - other weapons. Delightfully wicked. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 9 pgs., 11/4/97
https://www.altfic.com//subtextfic/Xena/prp/lessonslearned.htm

LILLA'S LITTLE ADVENTURE by Charmer
With this little tale Charmer has created an instant *CLASSIC* of XWP fan fiction that readers will NEVER, ever forget! In her three previous stories, COMPARING NOTES, TURNING TABLES and WINNING SMILES, Charmer firmly established a reputation for quality fiction, demonstrating a unique talent for combining romance, passion and humor into some of the most clever plots I've ever seen in fiction. It didn't seem possible but with this new story Charmer has outdone herself yet again. LILLA'S LITTLE ADVENTURE is possibly the most *serious* threat your funny bone will have ever faced. In fact, I have to give a warning NOT to read this story at work - not for the usual reasons I give that particular warning but because your co-workers are going to look at you very strangely when you're turning red, holding your aching sides and howling over this story. Told from Lilla's perspective, it starts off innocently enough with Gabrielle's little sister getting ready for a visit from the bard and the Warrior Princess. It is a visit that none of them will ever forget and that will ultimately have Lilla seeing her sister in a very different light. THE MUST READ OF THE YEAR!! DO NOT MISS!! It receives my HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION!! - 8 pgs., 5/30/97
http://xenafan.com/fiction/content/lilla.html

LYSISTRATA REVISITED by Della Street
One of the FUNNIEST XWP alt. fan fic stories I've ever read. Based on the Greek classic, this little tale has Gabby plotting a way to get Xena to do what she wants. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 7 pgs., 1/97
http://www.obsession14.com/XenaRotica/Della/lysis.htm

NOW by Zea
If you want to try an exercise in self-control read this at work ;-) I *DARE* you! A little tale about passion, too long denied and NOW...finally unleashed. DO NOT MISS! - 3 pgs., 9/29/97
https://ausxip.com/fanfic/now.html

QUEEN by L.N. James
Just in time for Valentine's Day, the "queen" of romantic alt. fiction is back and she's back in FORCE guys! Don't even BOTHER calling the Amazon Ice Company - they were completely sold out by the readers who previewed this little tale prior to its release on the Web ;-) Just clear out the old refrigerator and crawl in there! This new offering from the incomparable LN begins when a certain bard, in the mood to play, bets Xena 5 dinars that she can fool people into believing the warrior is in fact...her slave. Amused but doubting anyone would believe the formidable Warrior Princess enslaved by a little bard, Xena agrees, never considering the depths to which her heart has already been conquered...nor suspecting the ingenious plan of attack her VERY determined partner is capable off. In a style that is distinctively her own, LN grounds her story in a love that beautifully complements the passion. Within the fire she writes about there is a tenderness that just captures the heart. This is a warlord/slave story that you will NEVER forget. Needless to say, start looking for a new job if you even CONSIDER reading this at work. Oh and you really must be of age. Too much age and you might get heart palpitations but hey...whatta way to go >:) QUEEN gets my HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION! - 31 pgs., 2/14/98
http://www.squonk.net/users/lnjames/queen1.html
https://ausxip.com/fanfic2/queen.html

QUEST CONTINUED (THE) by Rebecca Hall (Storm)
Rebecca delivers a second solid hit tonight with this sweet, EXTREMELY passionate little tale that takes place immediately after the events in the episode THE QUEST as Xena and Gabby sort out the feelings between them. This one gets my DO NOT READ AT WORK warning >:) - 7 pgs., 4/28/97
http://xenafan.com/fiction/content/thequest.html

REFLECTIONS OF LOVE by Katelin B.
A beautiful, touching vignette that has the Warrior Princess reflecting on her love for Gabrielle and then showing the young bard the depth of this love. Sweetly romantic and very sensual. DO NOT MISS! - 3 pgs., 12/14/97
http://xwp-altfic.simplenet.com/reflections.txt

SECOND TIME (THE) by L. Graham
This is one of the most delightful, passionate and sweetest XWP story you will ever read. A WONDERFUL debut for a new bard that is fantastically well-written and extremely CLEVER! It is the morning after an evening spent drinking and Xena awakes to the shock of her life - a little development which quickly changes everything for the Warrior Princess but which deep inside she refuses to believe, fearful that her darkness played a part and never suspecting the true extent to which a heart has welcomed her in. Absolutely beautiful tale meant for the romantic in us all. [See also LUCKY]. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! - 11 pgs., 7/22/97
https://ausxip.com/fanfic/secondtime.html

SHOW (THE) by B L Miller
This is a fun little alt. tale that I can only describe as "naughty" ;-) The girls visit a village where Gabrielle gets exposed to new experiences... This one REQUIRES my DO NOT READ AT WORK warning! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 15 pgs., 4/28/97
http://members.aol.com/IQ139/Show/Page1.html
https://ausxip.com/fanfic/show.html

SHOW AND TELL by Suzar
Ok guys - time to call the Amazon Ice Company again - put in for a rush order! Whew! SIZZLING little tale that is GUARANTEED to shock you there for a minute - trust me on that - SHOCK - big shock...HUGE shock - ultimately a relatively harmless shock - but GODS WHAT A SHOCK!!! I was hyperventilating for a while there ;-) Anyway...back to the nitty gritty here - REALLY delightful, sensual, passionate, HOT...er...nicely written story :) that has the warrior and bard "enjoying" a sunny day at the beach when the conversation turns to activities Gabrielle would like to explore which they haven't explored...yet. All I can say to Suzar is...THIS BETTER HAVE A SECOND PART TO IT!!! ;-) Put this one at the top of your MUST READ list. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! [Do not miss the sequel SHOW AND TELL: THE SEQUEL] - 11 pgs., 4/7/98
https://ausxip.com/fanfic2/showandtell.html

SUMMER STORM by de Bonheur
This new tale from de Bonheur is an absolute gem, chronicling a day of passionate frolicking at the beach between warrior and bard. Reading like poetry in parts, this is sensual and terribly romantic. It is a follow-up to de Bonheur's earlier work AND FAIR TRUTH. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 11 pgs., 3/16/98
http://members.aol.com/DeBonheur/storm.html

WARLORD by Pink Rabbit Productions
On a beautiful, moonlit night Gabrielle fantasizes about the Warrior Princess - but not the warrior she knows - rather the dark, powerful warlord she only knows off. It is a fantasy that for the bard will become reality that night. SIZZLING does not even come close to describing this little tale which beneath the passion also reflects a very deep love. Moreover, WARLORD is an exploration of that forbidden attraction for things dark and powerful. This one gets a DO NOT READ AT WORK warning and is VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! [Make sure to also read the sequel TURNABOUT]. - 7 pgs., 11/4/97
https://www.altfic.com//subtextfic/Xena/prp/warlord.htm

WATERFALL (THE) by Katelin B.
A beautiful, romantic, sizzling little piece about a warrior, a bard, a waterfall...and that first time. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 5 pgs., 2/26/98
http://members.tripod.com/~Katelin_B/waterfall.html

FANFIC ART:

"ABOUT ARTEMIS Story Cover" by B L Miller
Inspired by the story ABOUT ARTEMIS by B L Miller.
http://members.aol.com/ChakramGab/Artemis/Page1.html

For those of you reading this post who are not familiar with the term alternative (alt.), it refers to ADULT stories that add a romantic element to the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle, depicting them as more than just friends.

Happy reading!

Lunacy 8-)